What Do Other Brides Do? – Sacred Stone

This month’s guest blog post is by Lisa from Sacred Stone about one of the most asked wedding question… “What do people normally do!”

If you were to ask me the most frequent question I am asked as an event professional I would know without having to think twice. It’s the question that most clients ask because they’ve more than likely never planned such an important and special, yet overwhelming and sometimes stressful event such as their wedding day. That default question is, of course, “What do people normally do…?” This question can apply to a million details – from the timeline for the day to the centerpieces on the guest tables to the set up of the food display and as detailed as the number of guests whom sit in the first two rows at the ceremony.

My response to this question is never a short or easy one. But over the years, I’ve gained insight into what might make it easier for decisions to be made that ultimately reflect what is important to each couple that I’m privileged to work with. In the end, it’s always my hope that a couple can reflect on their wedding day and remember that it was filled with love, laughter and amazing details that showcase their priorities, sense of style and personalities. Walking into a reception and hearing a guest say “this feels so much like them (the bride and groom)” is the best compliment and the ultimate goal that I always strive for. If you find yourself asking this common question, read further and hopefully you’ll have a better idea of what is best for you in every turn of the planning process. Happy planning and best wishes!

Celebrations-2015-048 Celebrations-2015-044 Celebrations-2015-045 Celebrations-2015-046 Celebrations-2015-047

  1. The first questions that I always ask a client are these: when your guests arrive for the ceremony and reception, what words would you want them to use to describe how they feel? What words would you want them to use to describe what they see? Let these words guide you in each decision that you make and try to ensure that each decision is cohesive with this overall vision. For example, if you are going for a formal and elegant feel then a black tie event would be a cohesive choice with that overall vision.
  2. With a good understanding of your overall vision, my next course of action is to dive deeper into getting to know my clients and I highly encourage you to get to know the team of professionals that are working with you. You may think that telling your florist things about you that have nothing to do with flowers isn’t important but sometimes it can make all the difference in creating really unique arrangements that were designed especially for you. For example, upon meeting a client a hand full of times, I finally got the truth out of her…she didn’t like flowers at all. But she did have a beautiful broach collection. In the end we designed the entire day around this collection of beautiful jewelry with lots of candlelight.
  3. People pleasing is not always, well, pleasing. In fact, it is nearly impossible to please everyone when it comes to planning your wedding. And essentially it is about what you, as a couple envision. However, I recommend “the idea of three” when trying to incorporate the ideas of others whom want to be involved in the planning and decision making process. Ask those that are closely involved (or honestly in some cases, paying for) your wedding this question: What are three of the most important details that you would like incorporated into our wedding day? Maybe in the end you compromise on a few of these details but it allows everyone involved to have their voices heard and ideas implemented. Also remember that this is how traditions are both carried out and created.
  4. The ability to be flexible is your best tool at creating a day filled with the least amount of stress and the highest amount of enjoyment. How? I encourage you to trust the professionals that you have hired to act on your behalf to carry out your vision. There is almost always a modification that needs to be made based on unforeseen factors. It’s important to allow your team to problem solve and think creatively. Sometimes the best results come from ideas that have evolved from an initial plan that had to be revised for some reason.
  5. Thinking outside the box may not only solve logistical issues but might also start a new trend. The best thing my husband and I did at our wedding was to do something that had never been done at our venue. Because the location of our venue was somewhat remote, we wanted to be sure that our guests had plenty of time to arrive, get settled and relax. So, we set up a cocktail hour before the ceremony began. By the time I walked down the aisle, everyone had arrived and was greeted with something a bit unexpected.
  6. Being realistic about your expectations and budget will help guide you to a beautiful day. It’s not about how big your budget is. It’s not about how big your budget is. Yes, I repeated that. The sweetest little details often come from your heart and not from that inspiration board on pinterest. I love media sources that inspire me and I encourage you to look at as many sources to get ideas. But remember that many of those ideas come with no budget associated with them. That beautiful table setting that you fell in love with from that drop-dead gorgeous photo shoot was ONE table. You have 30. If my client loves orchids and I know she has a smaller budget I’ll recommend using them in her bouquet but more economical flowers elsewhere.
  7. Play pretend, it’s fun! Pretend you’ve never been to a wedding before. Have fun with ideas and decisions based on what you are inspired by and what is most important to you as a couple. With these ideas and the help of your team you can reflect upon a day that made your guests feel honored to be a part of it and more importantly a day that was even better than you could have ever imagined.

– Lisa Akins (Sacred Stone)

Thank you so much Lisa for your insight! We are planning on making these guests blogs a monthly feature this year. If you are just now reading, be sure to go back and read Katie’s post on A Wedding They Won’t Forget and Christina’s post on Details to Remember for a Perfect Wedding. Check back next month for a new guest blog post!